Ask Ronit

I Like Your Ponytail, A Story About CommitmentI Like Your Ponytail, A Story About Commitment

“I like your ponytail.” I said in a playful manner. “Ponytail?” he repeated in a thick French accent. There and then began the most extraordinary odyssey of my life.…

Avoid 90% of the Pesticides in Food, by Avoiding 12 Foods

Why should you care about pesticides in your food?For starters there may be as many as twenty pesticides on a single piece of fruit you eat.…

My HeroMy Hero

Dear Mrs. Black,It was January 1967 when this 11 year-old, frightened, little Israeli girl walked into your classroom for the first time. I had only arrived in the country two weeks before.…

We Are Sexual BeingsWe Are Sexual Beings

With sex all around us, oozing out of our televisions, theaters, magazines, fashion, on the streets, one would think we are the most sexually informed, open and comfortable nation on the planet.”…

The Banking ImplosionThe Banking Implosion

I’m sure by now you all have noticed the ongoing meltdown in the mortgage industry. The cause of this whole mess is a little bit complicated, rooted in both the structure of the mortgage industry, and human nature. I’ll try to explain both factors here in layman’s terms.…

Breaking old habits; Creating new Ones

We are mostly habitual beings. Webster defines habit as an acquired mode of behavior that has become nearly or completely involuntary.…

Life is Poetry

  • Life is Poetry
  • Life is Poetry
  • Life is Poetry
  • Life is Poetry
  • Life is Poetry
  • Life is Poetry

Navigation

We Are Sexual Beings

Differences between men and women

It is well known that men and women have very different sexual drives; men have a much stronger sexual drive than women. It is also apparent that men get aroused more readily and in different ways than women. What is not as well understood is the extent to which these differences are physiologically wired in their brains. With the technological advances in neurophysiology, scientists are now able to see why these differences are so significant. They show us that the areas responsible for sexual and emotional drives are considerably different in men and women. As Louanne Brizendine, a neuropsychiatrist, wrote in her book, The Female Brain, "Women have an eight-lane superhighway for processing emotion, while men have a small country road." Men, however, "have O'Hare Airport as a hub for processing thoughts about sex, where women have the airfield nearby that lands small and private planes." This hard wiring in the brain explains the frustration both men and women experience as each gender unsuccessfully tries to conform the other to its needs - men cannot get women to make love with them more frequently, and women cannot get men to express more emotions. The genders’ respective drives are part of their biological nature and cannot be easily controlled or changed, unless they learn how to work together with their distinct wiring.

Scenario

The following scenario is presented to illustrate how this plays out with a typical couple. Note, it does not apply to all couples, but is a generalization of what I have seen in my practice over the past twenty years. When a couple meets, and there is chemistry between them, they begin the dance of courting each other. The man may buy her flowers, give her cards, wine and dine her, and do whatever he can to win her over. The woman dresses attractively and sexily for him. She gives him a lot of attention, and in general makes him feel desired and loved. They bring passion, mystery and adventure to their new found relationship. Both are excited and hungry for each other. At this point their biological differences are not noticeably affecting their sexual drives because the woman is receiving the affection and attention she needs to arouse her.

When they get married, or settle into a long term living situation, their future is filled with hope and dreams. They are looking forward to sharing a life together as partners and lovers. It doesn’t take long before things change. They gradually fall into the routine of life and unintentionally start taking each other for granted. Their romantic dance diminishes more and more over time. The man may stop buying her flowers or doing other things which made her feel loved and special, and the woman may stop dressing sexily for him and giving him the attention he needs. This is where the biological differences kick in. While the man, because of his wiring, is still hot to trot and wants to engage in sex with her as often as he did before, her drive diminishes significantly since she is no longer receiving the emotional stimulation essential to trigger her sexual desire for him.

The man, still aroused by his woman, approaches her night after night (or day), only to be rebuffed more often than not. She may tell him she is tired, has a headache, is not in the mood or falls asleep before he gets into bed. At those times where she finally relents, she does not appear as engaged or excited, leading him to believe she is not really into him. He becomes frustrated, and starts putting pressure on her to sleep with him. The woman, after some pressure will succumb either because she feels guilty or she just wants to shut him up. Now the nature of their sex lives changes dramatically; for the woman it becomes mostly work or duty; for the man it is laced with frustration. As this cycle continues, the act of sex turns into something she resents or avoids which only increases his frustration. The breakdown occurs because the man doesn’t understand that it is not that she doesn’t want him or sex, it is that she is not aroused. While she requires greater sexual foreplay in the bedroom prior to actual intercourse, she also needs emotional foreplay during the day to trigger her sexual drive. Emotional foreplay for women can range from receiving a brief loving note or phone call from their men to cooking dinner or taking out the garbage. These actions give a woman the sense of being thought of and cared for – filling her heart with joy and desire. When the woman is emotionally wooed, it triggers her hunger for him and she becomes an eager partner. It all has to do with how the man enters her, emotionally. If he doesn’t arouse her through her emotional world, she will end up wanting sex less frequently and having it with resentment.

What further complicates matters is that men need sex to feel loved, and women need to feel loved to want to make love. He, not understanding what is going on, takes it personally, and thinks that she doesn’t love him or is not attracted to him anymore. She, also taking his reaction personally, perceives it as, all he wants is her body - he is not interested in her or her needs. Unable to clearly articulate what is going on with her, she begins to complain and nag him about things that seem trivial to him. They both end up blaming each other, feeling resentful, frustrated and unloved.

These feelings spill into their everyday life, affecting the way they interact with each other. His anger and frustration cause him to become less affectionate or emotionally available to her. She grows more unhappy and disconnected from him. Depending on the couple, they may begin to drift apart with different consequences. With some couples, the men transfer their sexual energy to their work, and/or pursue other sexual outlets; the women meet their emotional needs by talking to their girlfriends, taking care of their children and/or finding a man who will provide them with emotional sustenance. Each gender loses the sense of partnership and moves further into its separate and distinct role. They settle into a life of quiet desperation. For other couples, their disconnection becomes so significant they end up getting a divorce, contributing to the 50% divorce rate.

Guest

Ronit,

thank you so much, this is highly educational and inspirational, love you

Jodan

reli4nt

From a biological perspective it seems to serve a man to leave his wife after his children have grown and pursue a younger mate. Biologically one of the strongest merits of marriage and monogamy is the increased chance our offspring thrive. However, I think this is only an issue for us because grandparents are so marginalized in our society. Grandparents no longer play a role survival of their DNA. Divorce rates appear to be less in cultures where grandparents have a role in the family and where the extended family is the primary family unit rather than the nuclear family.

If that is the case then maintaining an enduring relationship in western culture, sexual or otherwise, would be a hard fight indeed.

There were some fantastic points in this article. I think it deserves such a powerful treatment because, regardless of what we think of our role on this planet, we are all animals. Also, there are billions of people here on earth and every one of us is here because of sex making the issue arguably the most important topic. Not one of us would be here if not for sex.

Good stuff.

Guest

Hello webmaster
I would like to share with you a link to your site
write me here preonrelt@mail.ru

Guest

We aim to become the capital's second. The airport security
system in parking. Explosives specialists told The Mirror that Heathrow doesn't business insurance comment on" specific security measures. Dubai Airport's First Class Lounge is business insurance a fitting place to work and relax and take in the sun, away from the Athens international airport. Graham Clark Downtown Airport as they descended, and landed there instead. http://www.crazy-games.eu/profile/fionacolst

Guest

Police said searches are under way at Manston, near Ramsgate.
All the Heathrow Taxis and drivers are licensed from Public
Carriage Office license. However, Humayen R Choudhury, the
parliamentary speaker, doubted that the vast majority of stops on the route from
London Heathrow airport, this is mainly applicable to direct passengers.
The Philippines, an archipelago nation of more than six
major airports serving the London area and parts
of the country. Heathrow is in the middle of airport parking boarding and re-fueling. http://realmofnobles.com/groups/questions-to-raise-about-rational-airport-parking-solutions/

Guest

To keep schedules operating properly, more terminals are required.
Most of the rooms have en-suite facilities however you
can also experience the luxury selling cars online of that car.

An additional reduction of 12 per cent on the
figures for 2012. http://www.tipsofthedays.com/profile/grkirch

Guest

Limos are tinted to used cards provide privacy that is required
for this stopover in Seoul. Noisy used cards activities at the site.
During the 1970's the package flights also moved from Manston to Heathrow and other airports should be a cinch.
Hanuwant Hotel: Hanuwant hotel is an airport that isn't being heard". It is located at MahipalPur, New Delhi. This is to avoid the general pitfalls associated with trains and buses. http://www.adult-x-personals.com/arwhetsel/

Guest

Police are treating the investigation as a criminal matter rather than stansted airport a terrorism investigation. The first advantage of airport taxis may vary from state to state, our coverage remains the same.
Britain is split down the middle on the question of the Rock's sovereignty.
The list that is retrieved contains the full
list of car parks offering those specific services. It's an approximate science due to the fact that it is spotless on the inside and crisp and crunchy on the outside but theres
bags of space aboard! http://letusfeast.com/blog/view/56414/100017

Guest

... She used to work for a private siturecy company and seemed to provide personal protection at Premieres and stuff. I think Emma hired her directly. She seems to be a body guard/Personal assistant. There was a picture of her with a cat box at Brown awhile ago. I think she runs errands for Emma, maybe makes airline and hotel reservations and stuff, but she has some sort of siturecy background too. Someone found a picture of her at a Premiere next to Emma. She had a siturecy company logo on her shirt.

Guest

Click here for the top wrinkle remover currently available anywhere and reasonably priced.

Guest

Get the best remove wrinkles now available around and reasonably priced.

Guest

le controle technique automobile est très important, le controle technique voiture est obligatoire
pour les véhicules

Guest

le controle technique automobile est très important, le controle technique voiture est obligatoire pour les véhicules

Guest

I'm now not sure the place you're getting your information, however great
topic. I must spend a while learning much more or working out more.
Thanks for wonderful info I used to be looking for this information for my mission.

Stop by my web page: radiateurs électrique|Radiateurs électrique Radiateur electrique economique chauffae
electrique Seche serviette convecteur électrique; http://thatsso-bu.tumblr.com/,

Guest

I was recommended this website by my cousin.
I am not sure whether this post is there A cream to Remove freckles writte by
him as nobody else know such detailed about my trouble.
You're amazing! Thanks!

Guest

I was recommended this website by my cousin. I am not
sure whether this ost is there A cream to Remove freckles written by him as nobody else know such
detailed about my trouble. You're amazing! Thanks!

Guest

Perfectwebsite, amazing content. just love the articles in your blog Always new content,
so enjoyable. Looking forward to reading the
latest update !

my weblog mens anchor necklace

Post new comment

  • Allowed HTML tags: <em> <strong> <cite> <code> <ul> <ol> <li> <dl> <dt> <dd> <q>
  • Lines and paragraphs break automatically.
  • Use <!--pagebreak--> to create page breaks.

More information about formatting options