I find there is a difference between what I find to be sexy, attractive, or good looking. I have met women with sex appeal that weren't really good looking. I have met women that weren't particularly cute but still captured my heart, and there are certainly pretty women out there that do absolutely nothing for me.

One thing that I found that controls what I am attracted to are my priorities. When I felt the need to have a family, the women I found attractive were very different than when I was a horny college student. Good looking women are still more attractive to me than ugly women.

I don't look at people as good looking or ugly. Sure there are good looking and ugly people, but that is not the way I perceive them. I see people as attractive or unattractive. I can easily be attracted to "an ugly person (male or female)" if I am attracted to their beingness. I see and hear people beyond their physical attributions. I know this is not common, but that is the way I am. I believe the reason I am that way is because I was very "ugly" when I was younger. Until I was 16 yrs old, people essentially gave me the message that I was ugly. I never saw myself that way, but others did. They made fun of the way I looked and in general were not interested in being around me. At 16, something changed and I suddenly grew into a beautiful teenager. Now boys started to give me attention and asked me out. Because nothing changed inside of me, I was clear that this superficial reaction to me is not meaningful. I was the same person even though my outside appearance has changed. This experience taught me first hand that looks don't matter, all I cared about is getting to know the human being within. This may sound unreal, but it is truly the way I feel. Throughout my life, I have had relationships with several "ugly" guys (by society's standards) that were sexy and attractive to me because I loved who they were as human beings.

I can only answer for mylsef, but I don't care that much about appearance. It's not that I've only dated unattractive men. Quite the opposite! But that's NEVER the reason I date them. I dated men who had something going for them, and who were good, decent people, and who were smart and funny. I'm on friendly terms with all the men I've dated. I don't understandt this childish idea of hating your ex. To me, that is so infantile because I respected the person enough to date him. Just because we didn't work out on a romantic level doesn't mean he no longer possesses those qualities that made him worth dating. (I suppose there's no help for people who date someone they don't respect.)My husband is handsome and spectacular on so many more important levels. He happens to be several years younger than I am but, because of his graying hair, many people think he is older. (I also, apparently, look MUCH younger than my age.)As a young woman, growing up, I always wanted to look older. Then, it became more desirable to look younger. With men, I never cared what age they were, or appeared. But I will admit that I find men to be more handsome, as they get older. Within reason, of course. Young, healthy men are fine. But the facial lines that hint at an interesting life, and the graying sideburns are equally attractive, if not more so, than a rockin' set of abs.But that's just me.