Ask Ronit
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Not Afraid Of Dying
Ronit,
Everyone seems to be afraid of dying but me. Am I broken or are they?
Wondering about death
Dear Wondering,
Neither one is broken. The issues around the fear of death are much more complicated than we think they are. We are all born with the a strong survival mechanism. This mechanism is wired into our old brain, called the reptilian brain, where the flight or flight response comes from. While some people may not be conscious of being afraid of death, if and when they were confronted by a truly life and death situation, this system will kick in and generate extreme fear with all the associated physiological reactions to protect itself.
Most of us, in the western world, are not exposed to life and death situations on a daily basis so we tend not to give it much thought. However, this fear is actually present in all of us and is generally expressed as anxiety in our daily lives. When we examine the issues that typically make people anxious, the bottom line source is the unconscious fear of death.
Whether we are aware of it or not, this is a major issue in our lives and in many ways contributes to many of our daily difficulties when relating to others. If you wanted to better understand how this works, just notice how scared people are to be wrong or how much they avoid being rejected. At the bottom of all our fears ultimately resides the fear of death.
I am presently in the process of writing a book about this which will shed light on this subject and show how insidious and pervasive the fear of death is in our lives. This book will also provide information and tools on how to free yourself from the unconscious fear of death.
Ronit
How does that work out with people who commit suicide for fear of being exposed or in fear of facing something they may have done?
It would seem that the fear of failure or hardship could exceed the fear of death; or is it that the they are more inextricably entwined and perhaps the fear of failure and embarrassment is a more thorough death (a death of what we were as well as what we are perhaps) than an actual death?
Reli4ant,
People attempt or complete suicides for different reasons. Most people commit suicide because the pain they are experiencing is greater than the fear of death, and they don't see a way out of their pain. For these individuals the reality of the moment is the only reality. Their minds cannot conceive of anything other than being stuck in this pain forever. Feeling such despair and agony, death seems to be a path to freedom for them. In the situations you mention, the pain of facing themselves and others is so severe, it overrides the survival instincts. So yes, our minds can ultimately usurp the biological wiring for survival.
Other times our mind do this is obviously in war times and when someone we love is physically threatened. We will put other people's wellbeing ahead of our own.
We are a very complex species. Understanding how our minds work can help us live life more fully and peacefully.
Ronit
Eninihtenlgg the world, one helpful article at a time.
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