Ronit,

Sometimes I feel like everyone knows more than me or is more successful than me or more competent. I haven't done well at anything in life so far. How do you go about finding your strength or at least convincing yourself that you are better than you appear?

I am a fraud

Dear Fraud,

You re not alone! Most people experience themselves as fraudulent, to various degrees, with regard to the way they represent themselves to the outside world. No matter how outwardly successful individuals appear to be, i.e. possessing high powered jobs, wealth, intact families, etc, the majority still feel deep within them that something is wrong with them. The reality is that whether you have achieved society's idea of success or not, is ultimately not the measure of your success. True success lies with your ability to be authentic with yourself - embrace your weakness and your strengths - and choose to deal with them head on.

There is a little child inside each of us that is still seeking approval and acceptance from people around us. We compromise our own truth, our principals, to serve this child who is more interested in not being rejected or abandoned than in what s/he really believes and wants. You are the only one who can and do reject and abandon yourself. If you want to feel at peace with who you are, you need to listen to your inner voice and choose to follow it rather than focus on how people see you. This is not an easy task, but if taken on seriously, it may bring you to a whole new level of appreciating and respecting yourself as you are. You came here to live your life, guided by your unique voice. Allow yourself to hear what it is you really want and, regardless of what others think, courageously pursue it.

You are not alone!

Ronit